Category Archives: writing

There’s something deep inside of me, there’s someone I forgot to be…


He is freed from himself, which is the only thing which has ever bound anyone, because he has let himself go.  The unenlightened man keeps a tight hold on himself because he is afraid of losing himself; he can trust neither circumstances nor his own human nature; he is terrified of being genuine, of accepting himself as he is and tries to deceive himself into the belief that he is as he wishes to be.  But these are the wishes, the desires that bind him, and it was such desires as these that the Buddha described as the cause of human misery.
People imagine that letting themselves go would have disastrous results; trusting neither circumstance nor themselves, which together make up life, they are forever interfering and trying to make their own souls and the world conform with preconceived patterns.  This interference is simply the attempt of the ego to dominate life.  But when you see that all such attempts are fruitless and when you relax the fear-born resistance to life in yourself and around you which is called egoism, you realize the freedom of the union with Brahman.
Alan Watts.

I read this the other day and it really spoke to me, and hit home with me.  I realized how much of my life I had spent trying to achieve a predetermined outcome in most situations in which I found myself.  How often I was disappointed when the outcome didn’t come close to what I had imagined it would be, or even the times I was disappointed when it did come close.  I had done everything right in my estimation, it seemed perfect to me.  I forget though that we are only one component to a very complex equation or situation.  We have the flaw of only being able to see things from our own point of view, everything that anyone else thinks we can only presume through our tainted glasses.  We cannot begin to imagine all the experience and perceptions they bring to the experience.  In addition, we rarely ask the questions required to gather that information, not that such questions wouldn’t be limited anyway.  There are so many factors which determine the outcome in any circumstance we find ourselves in or observing and we can influence so few of those factors.

Continue reading There’s something deep inside of me, there’s someone I forgot to be…

you took the words right out of my mouth…


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This sentence is engraved on a chair on Kitsalano Beach in Vancouver.  I was captured by this sentence and the imagery it invoked in me.  I asked the person who was with me what she thought and their interpretation was in a totally different realm than mine. So I’m interested to know what others think this means. My thoughts follow the page break. Please share your own.

My question is what imagery or interpretation do you get out of this sentence?

Continue reading you took the words right out of my mouth…

I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer…


Salinger – In his final interview, given in 1980, he said: “There’s a marvellous peace in not publishing.

“When you publish, the world thinks you owe something. If you don’t publish, they don’t know what you’re doing. You can keep it for yourself.”

I think this thought by Salinger is quite fascinating.  After all most solitary creative types such as poets, writers, painters, sculptors and other similar mediums tend to create for themselves.  That is they have a particular vision or message they are trying to communicate or represent.  As soon as you share that work with others it is no longer solely your vision or message, it is also that of the reader or viewer.  That does not diminish your message but it certainly does make it something quite different.  No matter what you create, though you can see yourself very clearly in it, there will definitely be a distortion from what is voiced to what is perceived.  Then it is no longer you that is on that page or canvas but rather an individual reflection of you, being recreated every time it is viewed anew.  If you are creating something for an audience then you are not independent and that voice is not completely yours.  Or as Salinger put it “the world thinks you owe something”.

Continue reading I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer…

Manic depression is touching my soul…


Well the season of very short days is upon us and that certainly means some challenging days ahead of me.  I have always suffered from and fought depression and as a part of that have been affected by seasonal affective disorder.  I have come a long way in mitigating both conditions over the last few years.  That said they will always have a hold on me and be a part of me, but if well managed that grip isn’t as ominous as it once was.

When I was younger both depression and seasonal affective disorder could take me down into a very deep abyss.  It is amazing how debilitating both conditions can be.  All caused by our minds, and although it is definitely tied into our brain chemicals there are ways to mitigate the damages.  I can remember depression being very tough in high school.  It’s not something you feel comfortable revealing as there is certainly a stigma tied to any mental illness.  In university it was more of the seasonal affective disorder and I couldn’t dream of taking a class first thing in the morning for the winter semester or I would make very few of those classes.  It was a struggle just to get out of bed.  In the last few years I have learned some techniques that really work for me.

Continue reading Manic depression is touching my soul…

Ooh Ohh Feeling Good Mama, Painted Ladies and A Bottle of Wine Mama…


I have always held great admiration for those  of you out there who have the talent to draw or paint living in your fingers and mind.  It is such an amazing gift being able to visually represent the images you can conjure in your head.  This is a talent I don’t personally possess.  Though that doesn’t mean at some time I won’t give it a shot anyway.  We’ll see what the future holds.

There are some artists who speak to me in there works.  The one artist’s works I absolutely adore is Van Gogh.  I love the simplicity of them and their deep complexity.  The vibrant colours and his choice of subjects.  The man created some of the greatest beauty in this world all the while fighting the demons in his head.  I also love his self portraits, what a skill to be able to create a representation of yourself.  I would highly recommend reading “Lust for Life” by Irving Stone which tells his life story.  The man led a pretty tragic existence, especially in his early years as when he was a preacher in Belgium.  Though what a time to live in Paris and spend time in the group of his contemporaries at the time.  This was a man who was consumed by his work.  Whenever I have had the pleasure to view his works I have stood in awe of them.  Here is a man who couldn’t sell more than one work in his lifetime that the entire world is still revering 300 years later.  I also have reverence for Picasso and Dali.

Continue reading Ooh Ohh Feeling Good Mama, Painted Ladies and A Bottle of Wine Mama…